There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Houston, we have a blender
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
