The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
