I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
