yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
