dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
