I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
