we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
