But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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