I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
