He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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