shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
