Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
