If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
