im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize