Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
