Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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