I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
