NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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