you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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