Nicole vs. Life
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
