Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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