Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
