Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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