Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We have so much sex to catch up on
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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