And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
