Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
