Don't make out with my wife yet
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
