If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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