Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
