At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
