Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
