she was so not down for the gang bang
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
