idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
