oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
