and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
