so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
