What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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