Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
