tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
