I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
