Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
