I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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