6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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