I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
