umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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