She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
