big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
