The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I smell stomach acid.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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