you're like a bully in the Christmas story
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
