i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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