i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize