It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize