8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
