I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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