he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
