How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
