Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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