Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
