just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
