alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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