I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize