Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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